Since going through this period in my life where I’ve been debating who I am or what I believe in, I’ve been having some pretty strange dreams. Whether dreams can in fact be strange at all is of course another question, considering they’re the work of your sleep-addled mind outside of reality. I’ve always been interested in the concept as a whole, and would probably consider them the most spiritual thing all of us as humans universally encounter.
So to give you a picture of what exactly has been going on inside my consciousness, here are a few of the ones I’ve managed to scribble down whilst I can still remember them in my first few seconds of awakening:
1) I dreamt that a tiny little cockroach made it through a crack in the cupboards of my kitchen and, after trapping the little fighter under a cup, she (yes it was a girl cockroach) then proceeded to secrete some kind of yellow liquid, not unlike English mustard, and warn me that a whole army of cockroaches was about to invade, much bigger in size than herself.
2) I had a dream in cartoon, but not brightly coloured Disney styled cartoon. It was all different shades of grey, very abstract and pictured a dying girl in the arms of a man. Then, all of a sudden, this girl proceeded to perk up, turn into Katie Perry, and kiss me. (?!?!)
3) I often dream about work, one of which was that I took a little girl to use our staff toilet out the back of the shop, only to find the back of the shop had turned into some kind of flooded industrial warehouse, with lots of small little men covered in coal trying to escape from it. I then walked down the stairs backwards and this resulted in tripping up and the girl and myself plunging to our deaths.
4) In the same night, I dreamt I locked a dozen or so people (all of which seemed to resemble the entire cast of Dead Man’s Shoes) in a building and set off all the explosives I had hidden around the place, killing them all. I walked away from this in some kind of Hollywood thriller slow motion stroll, smoking a cigarette.
5) Finally, and probably the most disturbing of them all, I dreamt I was Satan’s assistant, torturing his victims, some of which were very young, and all of which were covered in vomit. Include the devil and myself. I’m not particularly proud of this one.
Now, I’ve never really been one to believe that dreams actually mean anything, and it was always my opinion that they were just random signals your brain sent off whilst you were asleep. But if you consider the idea that they are actually your subconscious acting out it’s desires and fears, in a way this makes sense. I like to think of it as the equivalent of giving a 5-year old a piece of paper and some crayons. Supervised, the child will probably withhold certain images and draw a lovely little picture of a house on a hill. Unsupervised, the child could just let loose and this can on occasion come out with some very strange illustrations, such as distressing drawings of family separations or deceased pets. In this same way, without your conscious mind being able to censor the inappropriate material going on inside your head, like the child it might come up with any random sequence of events.
There are a few meanings to my dreams that have interested me since I’ve looked them up. Dreaming about cockroaches tends to mean there is something to clean up in your life. Dreaming in cartoon means there is something going on that you can’t take seriously or cope with, so you change it to cartoon to be able to deal with it. Dreams including coal mean wealth and prosperity, but also it points to the dreamer’s unused potential. Dreams where you are friends with the devil can mean you are dealing with issues of morality.
Those of you who have read my former posts will know that each of these points come into them, one way or another. It can certainly be said that I’m looking to clean up my life and find a new direction, that I’m dealing with issues of morality as to my thoughts about religion and my experience in India, and when it comes to unused potential, I guess that’s one for you guys to decide whether I have it not to use it! As for the cartoon dream, death is something that I always find hard to comprehend, the details of which are for another post. The dying girl then turning into Katie Perry and forcing herself upon me is an interpretation yet to be solved.
Of course I still have my cynical side. Like horoscopes, dreams can sometimes be manipulated by their owners’ conscious mind to fit in with their lives in reality. And also, who was it exactly that came up with these definitive meanings to elements of dreams? Some part of me still thinks they could be random brain activity, especially that harrowing one about the devil and puke.